So things have been really up and down and up and down and up and down with Amber these past few months. Back in April we had a nasty spill, we were cantering in the outdoor arena when Amber tripped and flipped over, throwing me chest first into the dirt. We both came out of it pretty much uninjured (a few bumps and scrapes but nothing serious, I definitely have a guardian angel looking over me and amber (Thanks Nana))
But I did come out of the fall with some severe damage to my confidence. And I have been battling with those confidence issues for the last few months.. I didn't do any shows this summer, and it feels like Amber and I are kind of back where we started last year when we first moved to Whisper Wind.
I've been super nervous about riding her in the outdoor, even though I've taken a lot of precautions to help decrease the chances of her falling again (New saddle, new pads, new sport medicine boots, rides with my trainer, ect.) I still picture her falling down, right out from underneath me, almost everytime I ride, especially if I'm riding her in the outdoor!
When I ride her in the indoor these days, we're mostly ok, I'm pretty confident in there and I don't freak out, tense, or forget to breathe, I was even cantering her in there bareback a few days ago... but when I get into the outdoor I tend to lose it.
Last week we had the worst lesson we've ever had, it was in the outdoor and I was a HOTT MESS. I was so tense and nervous, that it made Amber tense and spooky and we just kept feeding off of eachother, and could barely trot around the arena without out falling apart, forget doing any cantering or jumping! After that lesson I was convinced that I needed to sell her! That we would never work well together, and that I was just plain not a good enough rider for her!
Of course no one else agreed with me, I'm pretty sure no one would let me sell her even if I tried too....
So yesterday we had another lesson, in the outdoor again, and for some reason it went really well! I convinced myself to breathe and relax, breathe and relax, and we made it through the whole lesson (walk, trot, canter, jump) without any issues at all. It really made me feel good! Hopefully my positive mentality continues and I don't slip back into the "OMG my horse might fall down, so I'm just not gonna try" Mentality that I've been giving into so much lately...
Sometimes you just have to ride and not worry about the fall! At least that's what Tim Mcgraw says "We ride never worry bout the fall, I guess that's just the cowboy in us all"
Trotting and reminding myself to breath
Cantering
And a small jump!
Going back to the barn this afternoon to ride again!! Will update tonight! Hopefully, if I remember!!
