Ain't Miss Behaving...

Well I am really bad at updating this blog!!! Last update was in Feb!! Geez!! I'm seriously going to try and update more often, I swear!!

So things have been really up and down and up and down and up and down with Amber these past few months. Back in April we had a nasty spill, we were cantering in the outdoor arena when Amber tripped and flipped over, throwing me chest first into the dirt. We both came out of it pretty much uninjured (a few bumps and scrapes but nothing serious, I definitely have a guardian angel looking over me and amber (Thanks Nana))

But I did come out of the fall with some severe damage to my confidence. And I have been battling with those confidence issues for the last few months.. I didn't do any shows this summer, and it feels like Amber and I are kind of back where we started last year when we first moved to Whisper Wind.

I've been super nervous about riding her in the outdoor, even though I've taken a lot of precautions to help decrease the chances of her falling again (New saddle, new pads, new sport medicine boots, rides with my trainer, ect.) I still picture her falling down, right out from underneath me, almost everytime I ride, especially if I'm riding her in the outdoor!

When I ride her in the indoor these days, we're mostly ok, I'm pretty confident in there and I don't freak out, tense, or forget to breathe, I was even cantering her in there bareback a few days ago... but when I get into the outdoor I tend to lose it.

Last week we had the worst lesson we've ever had, it was in the outdoor and I was a HOTT MESS. I was so tense and nervous, that it made Amber tense and spooky and we just kept feeding off of eachother, and could barely trot around the arena without out falling apart, forget doing any cantering or jumping! After that lesson I was convinced that I needed to sell her! That we would never work well together, and that I was just plain not a good enough rider for her!

Of course no one else agreed with me, I'm pretty sure no one would let me sell her even if I tried too....

So yesterday we had another lesson, in the outdoor again, and for some reason it went really well! I convinced myself to breathe and relax, breathe and relax, and we made it through the whole lesson (walk, trot, canter, jump) without any issues at all. It really made me feel good! Hopefully my positive mentality continues and I don't slip back into the "OMG my horse might fall down, so I'm just not gonna try" Mentality that I've been giving into so much lately...

Sometimes you just have to ride and not worry about the fall! At least that's what Tim Mcgraw says "We ride never worry bout the fall, I guess that's just the cowboy in us all"

Trotting and reminding myself to breath

Cantering

And a small jump!

Going back to the barn this afternoon to ride again!! Will update tonight! Hopefully, if I remember!! 

Though The Weather Outside Is Frightful...

Spring fever is really starting to set in! I am so tired of this snow, so tired of the cold, and I'm sure everyone who reads this feels the same!! At night I dream of giving Amber a bath and riding her in the outdoor arena and galloping through one of the empty fields, just the 2 of us! I love having an indoor to ride in, much better then not being able to ride at all through the entire winter! But I can feel that both Amber and I are getting tired of the repetitiveness of the whole thing. Walk, trot, canter... Circle, circle, circle, Big circle, little circle, whole ring, half ring, jump in a circle, jump a line... then circle!! And there's nothing that can be done about it, because the ring is... well... a circle... or really more of an oval, but still a type of circle!

So to try and not think about my extreme desire to ride, at a gallop, in a straight line, through a field, I have been working a lot on my own confidence while riding Amber. And by working on my confidence I mean forcing myself to do something that freaks me out, and trying not to think about it, trying to trust my horse to take care of me! And you know what? It's actually working!!

Now when I have a lesson and Nina says "Jump the diamonds (it's like 2'3 but jumping anything bigger then a freaking crossrail usually freaks me out)" I jump the diamonds without going "but, but, but... it's SCARY!" and when Nina says "Jump the pillars" I jump the pillars... Nina has yet to say "Jump the Narrow" or "Jump the wall" which are the 2 jumps that freak me out the most, but Im confident that when that day comes (probably soon, especially after she reads this) I will face my fears and jump the narrow and the wall, because I am learning to trust myself and trust my horse!

Speaking of scary jumps and trusting my horse, I have decided to take Amber in the beginner hunter division at our next show, which is set at 2'. There is no penalty for trotting in corners, but we need to canter between the fences, something we are still working on. But you know what? Even if we trot the whole dang course and place dead last, who the heck cares? Getting around a 2' course in a show will be a HUGE achievement for both me and Amber!!

Here is a video of me and Amber from our last lesson. You can see us jumping the scary diamonds that I mentioned above!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XrBio7D3fBM

In other news, I started a new diet this week called Medifast! I've heard some good things about it, but I know it's going to be hard, especially for someone like me who loves food!! But I've been told that after the first couple weeks it gets a lot easier, so I'm hoping that's true!! My goal is to lost 40-50lbs by the time I go to Chincoteague the first week in August! I think thats totally doable as long as I force myself to have the willpower to follow this diet!

It shouldn't be too bad, I tend to eat the most when I'm bored... so if I just try and keep myself busy I should be fine, and that shouldn't be too hard between school, horses, homework, cleaning, and spending time with the boyfriend and friends. I know if I just keep myself busy I'll be fine! No more sitting around on a saturday and hanging out on the computer!! Gotta go the gym and the barn instead!!

Anyway... Im done rambling, have class in 20 minutes (Math... Oh Joy)